• Безымянный 151616

  • Биохимия крови. Американские нормативы.

  • DEMOCRAT

    You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
    successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing
    you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then
    take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.

    You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

    SOCIALIST

    You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

    REPUBLICAN

    You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

    COMMUNIST

    You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

    You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

    You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell
    both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a
    gift from your government.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

    You have two cows. The government takes them, shoots one, milks the other,
    pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

    AMERICAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on
    the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You
    are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
    analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock
    goes up.

    FRENCH CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to
    lunch. Life is good.

    JAPANESE CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
    ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on
    unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow
    school.

    GERMAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of
    beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
    Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

    ITALIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You then see a
    beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

    RUSSIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have
    some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

    You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and
    open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th five year plan in the
    last three months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you
    really have.

    TALIBAN CORPORATION

    You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them
    because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill them
    and claim a U.S. bomb blew them up while they were in the hospit al.

    POLISH CORPORATION

    You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to
    milk them.

    FLORIDA POLITICS

    You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking
    one. Some of the people who like the brown one best vote for the black one.
    Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't
    figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state
    tell you which is the best-looking cow
































  • Безымянный 151616

  • Биохимия крови. Американские нормативы.